10 Ways To Practice Showing Love To Others

As we near the end of a decade and approach Christmas, we take this time to focus on ways in which we can love more intentionally. There are millions upon millions of ways to love others, and what lies below are just a few of those. One day at work, we took our group of students on a meditative walk we call a ‘solo sit.’ This walk is meant to be done in silence, focused on the present. We then arrive at the Ponderosa tree that has the backdrop of Mt. Meeker, snowcapped in the Colorado Rockies. Only a few feet away, sits a large field of tall grass and a family of Aspen trees. From here, we separate on our own for a solid 30 minutes. It is here where I sat down amidst the aspens to listen to the soft wind blowing through the aspen trees, paddling away like ducks feet in a pond. I decided to write on the back of my mini notebook where I came up with a few principles of love.

Practice Love Through Gratitude

Every day when our eyes open to the sun greeting us, we have the chance to choose how our day goes. By starting with a bit of gratitude, we can ensure that the day starts right. There have been many times in my past where I wake up and miss this step. When I do, I forget to appreciate the little things. If I wake up and immediately grab my phone, I am missing the beauty and joy of having a nice bed to sleep in, a roof over my head, the trees outside for giving my oxygen, an occupation, an education, friends, my health, and a wife and family that love me dearly. Whatever is in your life, take the time to actively appreciate the gifts you have been given. This small act can put your mind in a place of positivity and guide the direction of your day. If you do this consistently, it can alter your entire perspective of life.

Practice Love Through Actions

Most of us have heard the phrase “Actions speak louder than words.” I believe this is true most of the time, although words can also be just as powerful and impactful. Opening the door for someone, smiling at someone, engaging in conversation, doing dishes, cleaning, cooking, taking out the trash, etc. all are actions that can show love. There are many times where I really appreciate the gift of someone’s action. Equally as important is being willing to ACCEPT someone’s offer. I learned years ago that accepting a gracious offer from someone can be just as giving. Many times, when someone offers to do something for you, it brings them great joy. It also strengthens the relationship and establishes trust.

Practice Love Through Intentionality

Our intention when are with friends and family is just as important as the acts themselves. For example, if I am speaking to Francesca while being distracted by TV, a book, school, or some other activity, then what are my intentions? It is truly impossible to “multitask” even though we try to convince ourselves otherwise. This is something I have struggled with more recently in a new marriage and have had to adjust. Our phones and technological advances are distractions away from the people and experiences we love most. I cannot love fully if only half of my heart is present. When you’re with friends and family this holiday season, focus on spending TIME with them. Your phone will be replaced, your games will be replaced, your car and other possessions will be replaced, but your time can never be returned and your loved ones will not be around forever.

Practice Love Through Words

As I mentioned earlier, words are just as important as actions. For me, this is one of the greatest ways in which I receive love. If someone close to me beats me down with their words, it is the equivalent of being physically attacked. In contrast, when my wife writes me sweet notes, cards, tells me how much she loves and appreciates me, and showers me with words of encouragement, my love tank fills up quickly. Over the years, I have developed much resiliency when someone uses their words negatively. Much of the time, it is rooted in insecurity that is being projected. In those moments, it’s important for me to remember that it’s not about me and it’s most likely nothing personal. I can still choose to love them with my words.

Practice Love by Anticipating Needs

This is one of my favorite ways to show love to others. When you get to know someone so well, you learn what their likes are and what they value most. This is a gift because it gives you the chance to anticipate their needs. Even if you don’t know someone well, you can usually make a solid guess on what they might appreciate. Francesca loves to have a clean room when she comes back from a long day at work. So, I have learned to try and clean up the room before she arrives, even if I am a little tired. The joy she expresses when she arrives is worth it. Likewise, she knows sometimes I have a sweet tooth, so when she surprises me with some chocolate, it brightens my day. What brings us joy is not necessarily the thing or experience itself but knowing that this person loved me so well in this moment that they thought about what I would appreciate before I even expected it. This anticipation is such a gift because it takes a lot of selflessness to do something without expecting anything in return. Especially when it happens on a day that is not of significance.

Practice Love Through Prayer & Meditation

Since Francesca and I have been together, I have learned that this may be the greatest gift I can give her and myself. It is also one I have struggled with immensely. We can get so caught up in our daily lives that we forget to set aside time for prayer. For us, prayer is built on the foundation of our relationship and love. It ties in perfectly with gratitude. So, when beginning and ending the day, it enhances mine and Francesca’s relationship when I take time to pray and thank God for the things in my life and seek His support through my struggles and weaknesses. Meditation also intertwines with this beautifully. To me, prayer and meditation go together like peanut butter and jelly. I can do both at the same time. Ten minutes of prayer each day is enough fuel to keep my mind and relationships in a state of joy. I can love Francesca fully when I am praying consistently and keeping God at the center of my own life and at the center of our marriage. When this balance is thrown off, everything else starts to move.

Practice Love by Committing & Staying Committed

Commitment. It sounds much scarier than it actually is. Especially when you commit to loving one person for the rest of your life. It is the most beautiful gift I ever received. I made a vow to Francesca and to God to stay committed to her forever. Yes, we are two people, but we are also now one. This gets confused in our society today, I think. To commit to someone forever is to set aside selfish ways and focus on loving beyond just the self. That being said, it takes a huge commitment to love yourself as much as possible before setting out on such commitment to loving another. What’s even more perplexing is the idea of staying committed once the vow has been made. What kind of a man would I be if I just ran at the first sign of trouble? There will ALWAYS be trouble because we live in an imperfect world. I will have trouble within, Francesca will have trouble, and we will run into trouble with others and each other. We can choose to run away from that or face it. Regardless, it will always find us no matter where we go. Why not face it with someone that has also chosen to love you? Love is a choice every day; it is not just a feeling. Feelings are fleeting and…evolving. I choose to love Francesca no matter what life brings us. It’s bigger than myself and my own pride. Love is the greatest gift we have ever been given and it takes many forms. Francesca and I have chosen the vocation of marriage for life and it is the greatest decision I make every day.

Practice Love by Serving Others

I choose to serve others in my life each day. We have a chance to love others by serving them and setting aside our pride. Sometimes it is SO hard to serve others, but usually because we expect them to serve us in some way. That might mean saying to yourself, “Why should I let them take this seat when I got here first?” or “Why should I have to do the dishes when they can do it?” I have found that sometimes we resist serving others because of selfishness, entitlement, insecurity, or fear. We all want to feel important and loved and sometimes when we serve someone else, it feels like they are getting what we feel we deserve. But who really deserves anything? What’s mine is mine and what’s mine is also yours. Serving others is also one of the best ways to build relationships. The day I was married, I chose to serve God and Francesca forever—out of humility and love, not because I am weak. The strongest people in this world seek to serve others.

Practice Love by Listening

Listen, do not hear. One of my greatest struggles in marriage has been relinquishing my pride and understanding that what I have to say is not always what’s most important. When I have sat down and just listened to Francesca express her thoughts and feelings, we have had fruitful conversations. When I have interrupted her and stripped away her freedom of speech by thinking what I have to say is more important, it has created issues. Likewise, it has worked both ways. When we actively listen to someone, we are giving them our undivided and undistracted attention. We are speaking louder than we ever could if we actually opened our mouths. That safe space for someone to speak, see you nod, hear your verbal listening responses, and connect with your eyes while they are speaking is truly one of the greatest gifts you can give them. I have given the best “advice” in my life when I’ve said very little to nothing. I have been overshadowed and ignored when I have said too much. Listen intentionally and your love will ooze out!

Practice Love by Sharing…Experiences, Grace, and Things

Share everything….and nothing! Invite that stranger or acquaintance out for lunch. Ask those co-workers if they want to go for a walk after work. Share your food and drink with people. Extend a hand and share what you have. If that is just time, then share that. Also, share grace with people. We all make mistakes and show our imperfections. We also all have the capacity to change. Sometimes, we just need people to show a little grace. Most importantly, share experiences with the people you love. My greatest experiences have come in the presence of others. IF I went to Costa Rica alone, it would have been wonderful…but it would not have been as fantastic had Francesca not been there. Don’t get me wrong, taking alone time is also a gift to others. You have to share time with yourself, too. And…it can be shared with others as well. I will never forget the memories I have shared with Francesca. Not only can we reflect on this with our children one day, friends, and family, but she can also remind me of these memories one day when I no longer can remember them as well ;)

At the end of the day, choose love over hate to inspire the world. Be courageous and overcome the fear of showing love to others. It might be scary at first, but it might lead to a wonderful relationship one day. It certainly helped me find the love of my life whom I now get to call my wife.

What are some ways you show love to others? Let us know in the comments below! Be sure to follow us on Instagram @theabbottadventures and subscribe to our adventure below. We want to go on this journey with you!

With Love,

Bryant